Note from the Editor: In this new branded segment, we will tackle issues of sociopolitical and cultural importance in the context of the arts. This week, DiveBomb lays out the case for why Madonna should just cut it out, na’mean?
Dear Madonna,
You are not sexy. Just stop what you’re doing. What the hell is with this “Girls Gone Wild” video? Maybe 15 years ago I would have gotten a boner from this, actually no, I wouldn’t even have physically been able to make that work when you were hot. In fact, when I see this video all it does is remind to call and check in on my grandmother. And “girls?” Really? You literally haven’t been a girl for over 30 years. That’s longer than I’ve even been alive. I understand you are trying to compete with Lady Gaga, so you figure you will just hop on this dance/trance bandwagon, but come on. The committee is of the opinion that it’s just about time you pack it up.
Yours truly,
DiveBomb
I know it’s easy to just make “Madonna is old” comments because she’s out of touch, but take a look at these arms.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_VbDhsP0-uTw/Sm9Edxuqn-I/AAAAAAAADo4/DeBF-jGPL6Y/s400/Madonna.jpg
Or maybe she could stand next to two “it” acts and try to hide the fact that she’s twenty years older than both of them.
… I’m not exactly sure what I just saw.
She must work out. Maybe dubstep would make her sexy again? Bwahhhhhhh wub wub wub.
GUISE. guess what? Madonna made a song called “Secret” and a K-Pop band called Secret has a song called “Madonna”.
She’s no Demi Moore but maybe it just takes her getting back on some phat Massive Attack beats for Stella to get her groove back?
It just proves that sexy club music doesn’t make everyone sexy.